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A Big Ten football player I interviewed bandied about the term toxic masculinity. I did not know what to do with it. During World War I, women proved that they could keep the economy humming on their own, and soon afterward they secured the vote. Then, during the second half of the 20th century, traditional paths to manhood—early marriage, breadwinning—began to close, along with the positive traits associated with them. Boys may know when something is wrong; they may even know that true manhood—or maybe just common decency—compels them to speak up. For Cole, as for many boys, this stunted masculinity is a yardstick against which all choices, even those seemingly irrelevant to male identity, are measured. Falcon Studios , Danny Montero , J. The psychologists Dan Kindlon and Michael Thompson, the authors of Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys , have pointed out that silence in the face of cruelty or sexism is how too many boys become men. I asked him about how his teammates talked in the locker room. Sign In Subscribe. Why are you doing this? Derek Thompson.
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